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Hello.
Like most of you I used to be depressed.
I used to cut myself with a razor,cause
it was the only way I could cry,through my blood.
I was depressed long beffore I started cutting.
As a child a certan member of my family,used to tell me ,that I was a baby,when I cryed,and that I disgraced him.
So I began cutting as a teenager,everytime I felt hurt inside,and I wanted to cry,I would cut instead.
I was doing no harm....or so I thought.
You see when you use a razor to cut yourself,it don't happen immeditly,but every time you cut yourself,poison from the razor gets ito your blood.
And no matter how much you clean the razor,or burn it with fire,to clean it,it will still carry this posion.
I almost died from cutting.
One morning I got up,and I felt horrible,my head hurt,and my throat burned like fire,I thought I had the flu.
But it was so much worse than the flu,as the day went on,I began spitting up,not vommiting,just spitting up,and I was unaware,of what was happning,I thought I just had the flu.
I was very thirsty,and all I wanted was water,but it dident matter how much water I drank,I was still thirsty.
I got fever,and started shaking,and I sweat,and I was too sick to eat.
I soon realised what had happened,the poison in the razor,had poisened my whole system.
I could have died,I came VERY CLOSE more than once.
my family thought I had the flu also,but one night I was sleeping,and I dident relise,that my sleeve was up(where you could see the cuts)
and my mom learned what had happened.
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The hardest day of my life was telling my family I did si
I got up the following morning,and my mom asked"why"
I said" why what ma?" and she pulled on my sleeve,and I immeditly pulled it back down,and I said oh that was from the rosebush.
she shook her head,she knew it wasent from any rosebush.
I was so scared,I dident want anyone to know,about what I did to myself.
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My sisters and my self injury.
When my sisters found out about my SI they thought I was crazy for cutting,and for a long period of time it was very diffucult to even stay in the same room.But as time went on they seemed to have a better understanding.And now things are diffrent than beffore,and now they are concerned I geuss it was hard for a non self injurer to adapt to the idea that a family member self injured.I geuss thats why they acted angry and misunderstood at first.Anyways things are better now and we have been doing music together now I play guitar:) music helps me greatly it helped me so much during my times of depression and SI. |
My Geustbook
This is my geustbook,I would be very happy if you would sign it and tell me what you think,my e-mail address is FrogPalmer@juno.com e-mail me anytime.
Please sign my geustbook:O)
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page as a Starting Point Hot Site.
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"ABOUT THE SONG "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS:I DOWNLOADED THE MIDI OFF A FREE SITE,IF ANY MEMBERS OF THE GROUP QUEEN FEEL I SHOULDENT USE THIER SONG E-MAIL ME AND I WILL TAKE IT OFF,DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING UNLAWFUL"
Great song and I wanted to share my love for music,especialy this group thank you for the great songs Brian,Freddy,Rodger,and John:O) and Freddy you will always live in my heart:O))
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